Dear Social Media Friends | 01/15/16

Dear friends, let's be honest. We love our social media. In a world where we use the words ACT and SAT and college applications and...

copyright the teentrepreneur
Dear friends, let's be honest. We love our social media.
In a world where we use the words ACT and SAT and college applications and sports and contests and football and music and sickness all the time, it's nice to have something we can control.

We love social media because we love filters. We love spell check. We love aesthetically pleasing feeds on instagram. We love happy moments on facebook. We love sarcastic words on twitter.  We love our online versions of ourselves sometimes more than our real life version.

But isn't it sad that we feel like we have to have different versions of ourselves? Isn't it sad that what you may easily message to someone on facebook you couldn't say to their face? Isn't it sad that you smile for the camera but spend the rest of your time crying. Isn't it sad that you can snarkily make fun of yourself on twitter but you really can't stand yourself at all?

It's sad.

I've been thinking about this a lot. Fakeness sucks. Yet I'm one of the best at it. You see, I like my instagram. White backgrounds, nice captions. I like my twitter. Sarcastic posts about #firstworldproblems and #letsjustnotgobeneaththesurfacelevelofthingsbecausethenthingsgetmessy. I like my facebook. I don't post often but when I do, it's happy thoughts.

It's all rather fake. Not in the sense that I lie, but in the sense that it's not really what I wanted to say, it's not really what I need to say.  Can any of you relate?  I feel like it's all rather silly, posting things that go with our feed, go with our writing style, and make people happy when it's not really what we actually want to do. Why do we do that? Just think about it for a while.

You see, if I asked any one of you if you thought you were beautiful, you would probably say no. If I asked you if you were successful, you would probably say no. If I asked you if you were funny, artistically talented,  photographically talented, or smart, you would probably say no. And yet if I looked at your social media, it would probably say otherwise. Funny how honesty becomes a relative term.

We have perfectly curated our online presences to only share good stuff, we've curated our photos to be awesome, we've become obsessed with this alternate reality. But what has it really done?

Suicide rates are high. Depression rates are high. Overall sadness in YOU, my friends, is high. Does this have anything to do with social media? Probably, since we spend every waking moment of free time on it.

So I thought I would start with myself. Being a little more honest. Here we go:
I failed a test this week.
I don't post on facebook very much because I don't hang out with friends as much as everyone else seems to do and therefore I don't really feel like I have anything "good" to post.
I don't really talk like the way I do on twitter. In fact, I don't really talk all the much at all.
I'm a terrible runner.
I get really annoyed with people for no reason at all.

So for you, think about being a little honest today on your social media. I get it that people like to see "the good life" on social media, but maybe honesty is just what someone you know on social media needs. Maybe someone needs to hear that you struggle the same way they do. Maybe everyone has been thinking you are perfect and therefore couldn't possible need another friend. Just try a little bit of realness. See where it leads.
Finally, here's a beautiful song that sums up in music what I am feeling in words.


Let's be honest together.

~Sophia  

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16 comments

  1. Imma be really honest:

    1. I was supposed to start studying for finals on Wednesday but I didn't.
    2. Wednesday + Thursday I should've studied harder for a math test, but I didn't.
    3. I took the math test, and...I didn't do so well.
    4. I feel fat and ugly.
    5. I can't be healthy to save my life.
    6. I'm eating nerds right now.

    But I'm also going to be honest.
    1. These Nerds taste really good.
    2. I have a lotion from Bath + Body Works that smells good.
    3. All of my blogger friends are amazing.
    4. We should collab sometime.

    thank you for this post--i needed it.

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    1. Reading your comment brought me goose bumps and tears~ love you!! I will email you about a collab. I love your blog!! xoxo

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  2. Wow. Good job Sophia. You put a lot of feelings I have down in words, feelings I didn't know I have. To be honest, I think you are perfectly right, in that everyone wants to put their best face and life forward online. I do it too.
    I'll let you know that I put too much pressure on myself for school. I put too much of my self-worth in what I'm good at-academics. And that's not right. I get proud of the classes I take and my GPA when I should be focusing more on being a better sister and friend. I'm insecure too, and as I'm typing this, I don't know if I should post it or not. Thanks for such a deep and thoughtful post.


    Elaina

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    1. love you, elaina! Thank you for writing that about your academics.... honestly, I'm the same exact way!!

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  3. This is so true. And how we are so built upon how many followers we have, denying whether they are fake or not.... Very interesting. However, with so much social media competitiveness, a "real" social media account wouldn't go to far.

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    1. I beg to respectfully disagree. :) obviously, spilling every little honest thought you have will not bring you too many followers, but sharing truthful thoughts and concerns and flaws is a refreshing aspect on social media that I believe will get you "far" as you put it in social media.

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  4. Wow. Hi. Um....I really don't have a lot of words right now. Actually, to be honest like you said, I HAVE NONE. This post has literally siphoned ALL THE WORDS out of me and I'd really love to leave a long, coherent, ceremonious comment on this post (especially since it's my first comment on your blog -- !!!) but honestly (heh) I can't right now. This post is so so SO TRUE. And man. It just plunged me in the heart.

    I've been thinking a lot about authenticity/realness lately, too. It's a crazy thing to look at and approach, especially when you're trying to build up your presence or platform online. There are those two options on the table: be yourself, or be the person you wish you were. For me, there is no option. I have to be real. And if nobody likes me for being who I am, then...well so be it. :)

    YOU NAILED IT. I'm not even going to say any more because I can't articulate these things as well as you can. xD YOU ARE AWESOME AND INSPIRING. Following your beautiful blog forever.

    love,
    abbiee

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    1. giiiiiiirrrl. I loved reading your comment. maybe it's because I'm super tired and starting to get sick, but it kind of really made me cry. Thanks for sharing your heart!!

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  5. I love how open you were in this post!! It's hard to feel like you have to curate yourself in someway to look appealing on social media - and like you said most if not all of us are guilty of it! I don't know if I would call if fakeness - or rather just not showing the whole picture. Before starting my blog, I had never really been one for social media. I have like 25 pictures on my instagram that I've had since I started college. I already graduated. haha So it has been a challenging road to put myself out there to create a platform for my blog. Thank you for sharing your honesty, you've encouraged me to be more honest about myself through social media! ~Mattie www.mattiesmakings.com

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    1. I agree, it often isn't fakeness, just "curated-ness" but it often feels fake, no? Thanks for reading!!

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  6. Such a brave post. :) Thanks for sharing!

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  7. Like Mattie said, for some, it may not be so much fake, as just not telling the whole story or giving the full picture. Do I talk about how much I love my husband on my FB or Instagram? How great our relationship is? Yes. But what about when we're mad at each other or are having a crummy day? No. The reason being that I don't see social media as the place for airing my dirty laundry. In some ways, I think that's okay - our relationship needs privacy sometimes. But do I talk about much I feel like a failure in the shadow of others I know? No. Would that help others feel a sense of commonality? It might... and maybe that's something I should explore. Thank you for your honest words. You really got me thinking, today!

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    1. I agree, some things should stay off social media. I guess what really gets me is the people on instagram who perfectly curate their lives into this beautiful thing that doesn't really exist in real life. What gets me is the people who have spent so much time curating their social media that it's not even a reflection of their IRL selves. Thanks for reading!!

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  8. Okay, well, wow. This just pierced my heart and spoke my soul.
    Okay. *deep breath* If I'm honest, I only share the things from my life that appear appealing, or comfy, and try to make it sound like I'm always positive (hah). I feel like I need to lose weight. And sometimes I just feel plain not good enough. And sometimes I'm jealous and bitter. And sometimes I feel very single in a not so great way. So there's that. Anyway, thank you for being real and inspiring me to be too. :') I could just cry. I LOVE THIS AND YOU AND YOUR BLOG. <3

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    1. aw, thank you for this beautiful comment!! Wow. And thank you for being so honest. I love hearing about other people's struggles because they're often the ones I'm facing, too. love you!!

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