Month II - Finding a Balance

Today marks the end of my second month here at college, halfway done with the semester. It's gone so fast, but it's gone so slow, to...

Today marks the end of my second month here at college, halfway done with the semester. It's gone so fast, but it's gone so slow, too.
Sometimes, when I'm especially missing my family or even just What Was before college, the hours drag. But other times, like now as I write this, I can't believe that I'm 1/2 way done with my first semester, 1/16 of the way done with my college career (!!).

I've decided I do not, in fact, know what I want to do with my life. My advisors are all like "you need to have your four year plan ready to go before your advising session" and I'm all like I barely know what I'm doing next WEEK. Give us a break, people. We've just barely made it through a month of college.

BUT. This month has been so ridiculously full of beautiful moments, with amazing friends and professors and advisors. My advisors, my friends, my teachers even have told me to slow down and remember that we don't have to do everything at once. College lasts for several years for a reason, after all.

I present to you, once again, the College Journals, Month II.


Lowlights //
I've been missing my family with an acute pain more prevalent than the first month. I think because some of the shine and excitement has worn off from The College Experience, and it's been hard. Two of my brothers celebrated birthdays in this month, as well as my mama, so that's hard. It's all hard.

Feeling more than a little lost in what I want to do with my life. The program I'm in allows you to concentrate in as many areas as you can manage, so my learning-loving brain is over here like "Learning is fun! learning is amazing!! Let's study ALL THE THINGS!!!!" But then my sleep-deprived-stressed-out head is all like "BUT YOU MUST SLEEP SOMETIMES. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD PLEASE SLEEEEEEP!!"

Apparently bugs never die in Texas?? Also, apparently cockroaches fly?????

The amount of material we are tasked to read each day is almost insurmountable. I mean, some people are freaking superheroes and can read 350 pages a day, but the rest of us mere humans are not so blessed.

Illness. The end.

Getting over stimulated to the max. Even in the libraries, where there is peace and quiet, there are still hundreds of people around, and the lights and noises that come from having hundreds of people around.

Highlights //
Realizing that we all, in fact, do not know what we are doing. None of us. We are all unsure of the paths we are taking. We're figuring it out together.

Planning out my educational plan for the next couple of years and realizing I can almost literally take any of the classes I want to take. My friends, I don't know, but this freedom is both frightening and SERIOUSLY EPIC.

Flying back to Minnesota for a day to see my family and hug the cats and compete in a competition. More on that at some point.

Celebrating the birthdays of my tribe here... We've celebrated four birthdays in one month and it's quite a lovely thing to take a break from studying and eat cupcakes and play games. Funny story: we've always remembered birthday candles, but never a lighter (candles are banned in our dorms), so we use someone's phone with a video of candles for our celebrations.

Late night runs for kolaches, or sonic, or any of the million of other foods that I haven't tried.

Oh my goodness, God bless this Texas fall weather.

Getting to see the epic President of our school and hear her vision for our community. It certainly helped remind me what we're here for. Also: she's totally kicking butt. She's actually my superhero.

Meeting with professors: both nerve wracking (they're so intelligent!! they hold your future in their hands!!) and encouraging. They're on your side. They're rooting for you. They want your success. My professors have already become some close mentors, and they're so excited to hear your thoughts and dreams. I just have to get over the initial freaking out.

BYOM Monday: Bring Your Own Mug Monday. My roommate and I hosted one week and it was such a lovely thing to provide drinks and snacks for our hall. Seriously, building community is oh so important.

Friends who offer allergy medicine and cough drops and vitamin c pills and energy drinks to help you get through illness. My tribe is seriously epic.

Listening to lectures just because. It's a new experience: I've gone to lectures on racism, cybersecurity, women in business, sex trafficking, and more to come. It's amazing how much intelligence there is in this world, and how people are using their intelligence for good.

Going away for a long weekend with a friend and just getting a chance to unplug. To eat a meal made specifically for you, with love. Getting to sleep/shower/read without worrying about the roommate.

Realizing that the hard things--the homesickness, the stress, the overstimulation, the illness-- just make me appreciate the beautiful things all the more. God is good, my friends.

The Verdict //
This month was a balance beam. The more difficult and stressful events got, the more fun and beautiful moments I found.

It's been a balance in more ways than one: learning to sleep and also learning to slay.
Learning to be gentle on myself and learning to push myself to be my best.
I think that this is what this time is all about- learning that you can't do everything and but you can do your best at what you choose to invest time in.

Actually, in all honesty, the best thing about college is having super deep discussion about plato's republic and how it relates to modern democracy one minute and then laughing hysterically about tripping and falling over the next. Hashtag balanced life.

And so the College Experience continues, my friends.

//
So tell me- What are some ways you try to balance? Do you think it's more important to be gentle on yourself or push yourself? How's your school year been??

Keep being epic,
Sophia

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4 comments

  1. Yaaaay, Sophia! I'm so glad to hear that you're doing well, even with all the low points and high ones :) Praying for you - YOU GOT THIS!!

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  2. Wow, this sounds crazy. Praying for you through the low moments and rejoicing for you through the highs. So excited to see all of the amazing things that you do. <3

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  3. I'm glad that you have a smaller amount of low moments. College sounds like it have been for you for! Unplugging from the business of college is so important sometimes! Make sure to breathe!

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  4. Wow, sounds intense :) But it sounds like it's been really great too. So happy that there are more highlights than lowlights for you :)

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